AUGUST 2020
Everyone has unique selling points, so and in these difficult times of change, where external circumstances have left many of us feeling low, depressed, anxious or less confident. It’s even more important to find stillness, connect again to our true selves and REMEMBER! Our USP’s.
As individuals it is so important to celebrate and amplify our uniqueness, it is completely individual to you, it’s yours’ and it belongs to you. It’s what makes us different from each other.
When we feel under par, low, stressed, whatever the story is; it is easy to get drawn into comparing ourselves, often unfavourable to others. It may be a post on Instagram or Facebook, a social gathering of friends that you are not invited to or a T.V programme, conversation, that may trigger FOMO, or feelings of inadequacy, or even self-loathing. The stories we play in our minds and the false beliefs we tell ourselves can run riot and sabotage our lives leaving us in a cycle of highs and lows as it ignites the “comparison trap” It’s amazing the stories we tell ourselves when we compare ourselves to others.
What’s happening here? Well, the images or words we see and hear can trigger our deepest insecurities and set off false beliefs, and mental chatter that can negatively impact our self-esteem, confidence and self-worth. We may see our friends or family having amazing times and experiences or enjoying success in their careers. This may then cause us to “benchmark” where we are in our own lives compared to our peers. These feelings and thoughts can be all around us, not just on social media.
I believe, that helping clients with self-development and awareness is the key to manage these feelings. It encourages curiosity about the feelings they are experiencing too. I coach them around a set of questions, like; “What is going on for YOU right now?” or “What is the feeling?” this helps them untangle the thoughts and feelings that are rising up in them. I encourage them to write it down, which is a brilliant tool to gain clarity. Sometimes they just need to reach out to a friend or family member or coach, for support.
I have found that when we compare ourselves to others it’s usually when we see something that we want, or we have forgotten our own USP and uniqueness. In some cases, we do want it, in other cases if we untangle it, we find out we don’t even want it! I encourage clients to discover what is underneath and driving the feeling, and to use it for a catalyst for positive change. So, dig deep, ask yourself, what is this telling me? What is it I want more of in my life? how can I switch this feeling to help me grow? How can I focus on my needs, goals and my own individual USP?
Stay Happy ? Smile today!
Debbie