JUNE 2020
The current pandemic of the COVID 19 virus has also brought with it a wave of anxiety and uncertainty. We know from research that psychologically the two most common ways to try and deal with anxiety are denial and distraction. Neither is helpful.
Sigmund Freud said that anxiety is like an unwelcome guest that refuses to leave. You are forced to adapt to its presence. But what positive action can we take to get this unwanted guest to leave. I work with people to help them identify the triggers and navigate the feelings while teaching them methods and tools to cope and reduce its presence.
The secret is to become super AWARE and then make conscious choices that can shrink and dissolve the fear away, because you no longer need it. Fear is a primal feeling from early evolution million years ago, rooted in the fight, flight or freeze response. It lies in wait, ready to spring into action to keep us safe and to make sure we survive.
But for the last ten thousand years the conscious brain has evolved and with it came infinite resources of thought, feeling, creativity, and choice-making. We were set free from this primal fear. All we have to do is choose the path of consciousness, which is the path of inner wisdom. Consciousness for me, is simply becoming super aware and grounded in the moment so we can make the right choices. From this position we are in the best possible place to manage life and situations around us. We are never going to be without situations in life that challenge and provoke feelings of fear, but we can learn how to deal with them.
To make the right choices, you need to be conscious and aware of what fear is doing to you. For me, when I feel fear, I experience the following:
- Increased pulse rate
- Pounding racing heart
- Dry mouth
- Tightness in my stomach
- Shallow breathing
- Physical tension and tightening
- Headache
- Irritability
- Mental overload and pressure
- Lack of clarity
Fear is a form of stress, and when I feel these feelings listed above, as you can imagine I feel very unwell. Over the years I have learnt ways to tame these feelings and release the stress, and I have been sharing these tools and techniques with my clients and educating people in my clinic’s and workshops for many years. Learning to settle your mind is invaluable, because only from a level of awareness can you become grounded, quiet and calm giving you an escape from stress and anxiety.
One of the easiest, and effective quick tools I use is a very effective and simple yoga pose known as Shavasana where you simply lie still, breathe, and consciously relax. Start with finding a comfortable, quiet place to lie down on the floor, either on the carpet or a yoga mat. Lie on your back, place your feet 18 inches apart with your arms at your side, palms up. Close your eyes, settle into the position, and breathe naturally.
Bring your attention and awareness to your breath, feeling your chest rise and fall. On the out breath, let your lungs deflate with a sigh. Easily breathe in, then exhale with a sigh. Sense yourself becoming deeply relaxed and continue for 5 to 10 minutes. Sink into this relaxed feeling. To exit the pose, easily turn onto your side and stretch, open and close your hands, then open your eyes and get up without moving quickly into activity.
I always feel amazing after doing this even for 10 minutes, I feel relaxed and in control and I remember this feeling and remind myself though out the day, that if anxiety comes my way I can ALWAYS tap back into this feeling of peace and control.
As I write I am having my garden landscaped, so I took the opportunity to chat to the three builders on the subject of stress and anxiety. I asked them how they feel when they are stressed. The answers were:
- Can’t switch off
- Can’t relax
- Can’t stop the million thoughts going through my mind
- Feel angry and tense and irritable and I blow up!
I then asked them what they do to manage their stress
They said:
- Lie on the bed and play candy crush
- Get up at 5am and do gym and yoga
- Listen to music
- Play PlayStation
- Run or train
It’s lovely to connect with men on these issues and help them become more aware! Try it out! ask yourself and your friends and family the same two questions.